Alright, I wrote recently about my (somewhat minor) relapse. The one where I picked three spots pretty good? Yeah, that one.
Well, I've let two out of those three sores heal up just fine. The third, however, I've been having real issues with. It's right on my chin, for the world to see. I just can't seem to leave it alone! I think I'll have to sit down and write more lines.... Also, I really wish that scars faded faster!!
In other news, I'm going to be attending another funeral on Monday. It'll be funeral #4 since April. Stupid 2009, you suck! RIP Uncle Jerry, I didn't know you well, but I know that you were well loved by all. ♥ I think that Uncle Jerry being so sick and on life support, and then passing away last night, may be a reason I can't leave that sore alone. He was my long-time (4 years!) boyfriend's uncle, and it's affected Jake a bit.
Either that, or I just suck. And the fact that even though I just completed my degree in Public Relations back in May, I am still unemployed. Not a whole lot to be happy about right now, I guess. It makes it harder to convince myself that I love myself....
♥
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Hi! I'm Haim Rimon (on facebook), dermatillomaniac.
ReplyDeleteTrying to stop is a constant struggle, and I think it comes from our "natural" anxiety..
In any case, seeking work (and moving apartments) always increase some level of anxiety.
I tend to have good weeks and bad weeks without any connection to anything I can notice.
I also sometimes "allow" myself to pick on one wound to avoid spamming my fingers on all other places.
I'm currently very unstable and care more about not losing my mental health altogether than I care for my wounds.
I'd even say I'd rather pick myself apart if
it spells less mood disorders..
Just my 2 cents.
Everything counts in large amounts...
Haim.
I'm a dermatillomaniac as well -- and I've gone 8 days without picking. Last Sunday I picked for a grand total of 39 minutes. I caused sooo much damage in 39 minutes. Prior to last Sunday's slip I hadn't picked for a week. Seems like a week is all I can take...
ReplyDeleteI have a facial in about 2 weeks -- I'm hoping I can hold off and allow the esthetician to take care of anything I really feel is bothering me.
The monthly facials for the last few months has been a big help. So has journaling about it. I've actually stopped writing lines and allow myself to deal with my emotions and anxieties on paper. Thank you for the incredible suggestion of writing lines, it lead me to journaling and I'm grateful for the encouragement! Knowing that I'm not alone in the mirror (or journal!) helps me in so many ways.
I recently read somewhere that the picking is a way to disconnect from emotions we don't want to deal with. So, I think you're onto something by dealing with them on paper instead of the mirror... I'm so excited that you've started blogging. I'll be checking this, so don't stop writing :) Take care and Hi Haim!
Sarah