147 hours.
I've slipped up once or twice, but I've only caused myself to bleed once in this entire time. And that's a huge step for me, as I used to make myself bleed many times a day. It was like I was mutilating myself, over and over again. I've posted a few pictures of my progress, which is also a big step. Letting other people see me without makeup makes everything much more real, and for years I've just been trying to ignore it, and hope that it'll just go away.
Today I thought of something that happened to me this past summer: it was on a day that was pretty bad, skin wise, and I was at the laundromat. There was this little girl there with her mom, and the girl came up and was talking to me, and she asked me what was wrong with my face. This hurt so much I almost cried. I mean, what do you even say to that?
Anyway, I'm really happy with myself right now, that's all. =)
Now, I'm able to use regular face wash (and even facial scrub!) without it burning the open wounds on my face. I'm hoping the scrub will help to lighten the scars. My makeup routine takes MUCH less time now and I use less of it; it's much easier to cover scars than sores, and I'm not running to the bathroom constantly to check my face, apply more makeup, pick some more, etc.
Yay me!
♥
"Flaws are ok, I don't need to pick."
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When I was working at a coffee shop, I had one older gentleman freak out and refuse to be served by me, because he thought I was diseased. At the time I wasn't open about it at all, and ended up crying in the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteSince then I've had a number of people try to recommend acne products, herbal products, vitamin supplements. There people all meant well, but it was hard explaining to a complete stranger that it wasn't a skin condition, it wasn't acne, it was myself.
Congratulations on your progress, it really makes a difference in my own attitude and progress to see someone doing so well! I've cut back significantly, to maybe about 80% less picking in the past week. It still feels like I can sustain this pace and even improve, so that's encouraging. :)