Broken Is As Broken Does

I don't really know what to write about, exactly, but for some reason, I really feel the need to write.

I still hate my job, but I may be getting a new one soon! =) I recently had a second-round interview to be the manager of a college campus phonathon, where I would oversee student callers and student supervisors who call alumni to raise donations. I was a student caller at my Alma Mater for over 3 years, so I think it would be a really great fit for me. My first 2 interviews have gone exceedingly well, and I'm super excited. I would have to move to the University of Northern Iowa, but I'm ok with that. I should know whether or not I have the job in about 2 weeks, and I would start at the beginning of July.

I slipped and fell on a spill at a bar on Tuesday. Luckily, my hip was there to break my fall. =/ It's ridiculously painful, and it's actually preventing me from going to work. I have a hard time sitting normally, which I need to do while I'm at work, so...... yeah. ***Editor's note: A week after this fall happened, I finally went to the doctor because it just wasn't getting better. Turns out I fractured my hip. =( And now I have awesome medical bills on top of that. Le Sigh.... ***

Ok, now for Relevant Portion of the Blog Time!

I noticed recently that I was picking a moderate amount while I was at work. Then I would quickly try to give myself a "touch up" with the makeup that I always carried with me "just in case". That makeup, that I always had in my purse, was more than just makeup. It was my crutch. And boy did I lean on it. And so I decided to make a change. What's odd is that there was virtually no forethought, no planning involved in this decision. It just happened:

I no longer allow myself to carry my makeup with me. I leave it at home. Always. Just knowing that I have no way of hiding my "accidents", it forces me pay much closer attention to what my naughty little fingers are doing when they get too close to my face. And it's been helping. I still have the occasional accident while I'm at work, but not like I used to.

And then I decided that I wouldn't take my makeup with me when we went out, for dinner, for drinks, nothing. And this turned into allowing myself to do my makeup once, and only once, each day. If I have an accident, I'm not allowed to "fix" it with makeup anymore. It's seems so simple, and yet it's so extremely difficult to enforce these new rules. But I think I'm slowly starting to change my psychological response to picking. Now, instead of finding release in the act of picking, I experience intense anxiety from it, simply because I know that I can't hide it anymore once it's happened. At least while I'm not at home. I'm still working on that part.

But I think that this is a step in the right direction. =)


♥